
4x4 Breathing Exercise
Getting Started: Find a comfortable, safe place to sit or lie down (you might feel lightheaded while learning this technique). Place one hand on your chest, one on your belly. Important: If you feel dizzy or uncomfortable, stop and return to normal breathing. This is normal when you're learning - start with just 2-3 cycles and work your way up. There is no right or wrong to this. Just practice and let whatever happens happen. If you lose count or need to stop it is ok. This does not come naturally to everyone.
Breathe in through your nose for 4 slow counts
Count: "1-and-2-and-3-and-4-and"
Feel your belly rise as air fills your lungs
Notice the temperature of the air coming into your nose - it's cooler going in
Think "sniff the muffin" to remember to use your nose
Hold your breath for 4 counts
Keep the air in your lungs calmlyBreathe out through your mouth for 4 slow counts
Let the air flow out steadily and completely
Feel your belly fall
Notice the warm air leaving your mouth
Think "blow out the candle" to remember to use your mouth
Hold your breath for 4 counts
Rest with empty lungs before the next breathRepeat this complete cycle 4 more times (5 total cycles)
Helpful Tip: Picture a balloon slowly inflating and deflating in your chest as you breathe. This helps you focus and makes sure you're breathing deeply into your belly, not just your chest.
Why This Works: This breathing pattern activates your body's natural "calm down" system (parasympathetic nervous system). It:
Slows your heart rate
Lowers your blood pressure
Reduces stress hormones
Tells your brain "everything is okay"
The controlled rhythm helps reset your nervous system when you're anxious, stressed, or overwhelmed.
Once you've practiced this technique, you can do it anywhere - in meetings, on the bus, before a difficult conversation - and no one will even notice. It's your portable calm-down tool.